What Happens When You Have a Miscarriage?

Most women who experience an early miscarriage will not need to have any intervention or treatment, as miscarriage is a natural occurrence that the body instigates. When a pregnancy is not viable, the uterus begins to contract and usually empties itself completely.

When you have a miscarriage, it usually begins with light spotting or staining for several days, that gradually changes to bright red bleeding. Cramps usually follow quickly with the bright red bleeding. The cramps may come and go as your uterus contracts - much like labor contractions. If you were to feel your cervix, you would notice that it will soften and open to allow the baby to pass. You may experience very heavy bleeding and strong cramping as the miscarriage progresses, although many women will miscarry without any physical pain or discomfort.

If you are very early on it your pregnancy, you may only notice bleeding with the occasional passage of clots. What most resources do not tell you is what happens when you are further along in your pregnancy, as it seems to be a taboo subject.

If you are several weeks pregnant you may pass grayish tissue that is placental or fetal tissue. What many women experience when they have a miscarriage, and what I have experienced is that at the end of your miscarriage you will pass the placenta, gestational sac, and your baby at once. Many mothers in their complete and utter shock that this has occurred (many times this happens while on the toilet) end up flushing the sac and feeling an intense feeling or panic, shock, guilt and despair. If this has happened to you, please know that it has happened to many, many women as well, and that you did the best that you could given the state that you were in.

If your body is threatening to have a miscarriage now, I am letting you know this so that you will know what you want to do if this happens to you. If you pass the gestational sac you do not need to feel morbid, guilty or strange to want to open it and see your baby. These are completely normal and natural feelings for a mother to have, and seeing your little one may actually help you to gain some closure. If your pregnancy loss has occurred very early, you may not be able to find your baby in the sac as it may be too small for you to see. This is normal, and does not mean that you lost your baby and did not find it. It is just too small. If you were further along, you may see an actual tiny baby in the sac at the stage of development they had reached when they died. It is ok to hold them, and to look at them, and to wonder at the miracle your tiny little baby is. Although it is taboo to talk of such things in our society, it is a normal and natural feeling to want to see them, hold them, and touch them.

It is also normal to not feel any curiosity or need to see your baby - so please do not feel guilty if the only thing you wanted to do was look away. I would suggest, that if it feels right to you - that you may wish to put the baby and the sac in a safe container for a few hours after you have recovered from the initial shock in case you may begin to feel differently.

You are entitled to keep your baby and to bury them in the manner that you wish. Law does not address what must be done with a miscarried baby, so you are free to choose. You do not have to take it to the hospital or the lab for testing, although you may also decide that this is the best option for you.

Please see our grief resources for help after you have lost your baby.

Our Miscarriage Jewelry was created to help women through the grief following a miscarriage. Created by a mama who knows and understands the pain of losing a much loved and wanted baby, our pieces are a tangible connection to the memory of your little one. Sometimes just having something to touch, to hold next to your heart, while you heal, can bring a great deal of comfort. Our pieces are a way to remember your little one, and to celebrate their life.